A Tale Of Two Films That Said 'Fuck': Part 1

Bollywood has been coming of age in recent years, with a rapidly expanding list of films that defy conventions and try to appeal to a modern urban audience that isn’t necessarily enthralled by the gyrating pelvises of our desi Elvises. Of course, defying conventions in a country that prides itself on tradition is a devil’s bargain, and not every film in this fledgling genre necessarily hits the mark. So we thought we would provide a compare-and-contrast of our own, reviewing two recent films set in urban India, featuring urban yuppies indulging in urban yuppieness, to show you just how good, or bad, things can turn out. First – the bad…

Turning 30!!! A Desi Sex And The City (in that there is sex, and it happens in a city)

The opening track of Turning 30!!! tells you all you need to know about the film and its protagonist. A modern (cigarette: check, martini: check), fashionable (stilettos in the tub: check), independent (stomping on a sherwani clad Ken doll: check) young woman faces the trials and tribulations that come with her turning 30 (!!!). Though its pretty obvious that the film is going for a desi SATC, it manages to recreate only the most melodramatic and regressive aspects of the show, with the help of a messy, incoherent plot, schizo direction, and school play levels of acting.

Story:

Naina (Gul Panag, trying really hard, and looking very good) is a young, working woman (see above for required qualities) who is in a committed long term relationship with her loving boyfriend (he cooks for her!). She also has a job she enjoys in spite of a colleague who spews sexually confusing one liners (there’s a strange line about using a ‘tool’ both ways), and a boss who doesn’t give her due credit (for the Cannes Silver Lion, no less). All’s well until a week before her 30th birthday, when her boyfriend dumps her abruptly over dinner (but not before ordering wine for the table -- who does that?!) for a younger, hotter, richer girl who will help his parents get out of a financial slump. Additionally, her more recent ad campaign idea is a flop, and she is almost fired from work. It doesn’t help that the world seems to be telling her at every turn how she’s now an old, single, unaccomplished spinster. How will Naina deal with the series of catastrophes in her life that happen to coincide with her turning 30? You’ll have to watch the movie to find out.

Review:

Please don’t consider that last line an invitation to watch this terrible, terrible film. There are many things wrong with Turning 30 which I will try to list here in as incoherent a manner as the film. Director Alankrita Srivastava, though directing her first film, is no newbie to cinema. Yet the film consistency warps time and space (Purab Kohli asks Panag a question in the car, she responds to him when they’re in bed), paints characters in thick strokes of white or black (boss: bad, husband of friend: bad, preggy friend: good), and tries to juggle fourteen different ‘issues’ with carelessly written characters and scenes. A prime example of the last point: Friend #2, Malini (Tillotama Shome) comes out to her friends during a game of truth and dare, after her friends ask her to explain her relationship with her girl friend (already awkward here). After she comes out though, there’s a good minute of the friends staring at each other with looks of shock/discomfort/gas, before they hug her and continue the game. What! Yes, Turning 30 stretches out its perfectly manicured claws to try and touch every urban, ‘modern’ issue possible, only it doesn’t know what to say beyond the cue card. It’s no surprise then that the film’s title itself is a catchphrase that the writers were so proud of they didn’t bother to write an actual story.

When a film is as poorly written and directed as this one, it seems like a low blow to hate on the poor actors who were just following instructions. But I’m going to do it anyway. The cast is wooden and uncomfortable, mostly because they are put in awkward situations. My favorite is Jai (Purab Kohli) asking Naina to marry him after their one night together. Naina says, and I’m paraphrasing, “No. Orange juice?”. And...scene.

My real gripe with this film isn’t its snort inducing scenes, uninspired storyline, or amateur treatment. What bothers me is its utterly regressive stance, cloaked weakly in a superficial definition of modernity. So while we are made to believe, through various props and puffs of smoke, that Naina is a woman of today, her own woman, a woman’s woman, whatever, she goes back to her ex several times (once even trying to bite his ear sensually to get him back), even after he blatantly dumps her and gets engaged to someone else. And while her friends are her strong pillar of support (they say ‘fuck’ almost as many times as she), friend #1 decides her husband’s wavering ways are fairly acceptable, and friend #2 seems almost ashamed to be a lesbian, with really no support from anyone. The Sex and the City shows, though probably as sexist in nature, encourage us to see the characters as flawed, broken, and therefore entertaining. Also each show is 20 minutes long. At a yawning length of almost 2 hours, Turning 30 is boring when its not offensive, and never entertaining. My quest for the ultimate Bollywood chick flick remains unfulfilled...

Rating: